Old lyrics by song writer Johnny Mercer (sorry about using the word old to those of us who actually remember the song!) offer that each of us need to get the “attitude of doin’ right.”  This song stresses that each of us “got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative and latch on to the affirmative (and) don’t mess with Mister In-Between.”  What great advice especially for those of us involved in a family business. 
            Most of the time family members pay too much attention to the imperfections of our family members forgetting to “accentuate the positive.”  A good way to test yourself on what you accentuate is to honestly list the top 10 descriptive phrases that come to mind of each family member you work with in the family business.   Be honest now.  Unfortunately, when we do this exercise with our families in business the majority of the descriptive phrases are negative!  Many descriptions go back to childhood incidents.  It is as if we are zeroing in on the imperfections of other family members and continuing to drag those imperfect impressions with us into adulthood.  Many times, because we accentuation of the negatives, we close our minds to the contributions other family members could make in our lives and in our family business.  We make judgments on what they are going to say before they say it based on the negative attitudes we have toward the family member offering the opinion.
            Recently I read an article that demonstrated how many times we allow our “minds to destroy our blessings” because of our focusing on the negatives.  Many of us pay such “close attention to the imperfections” of family members that we begin to fabricate in our hearts how they will respond to future situations.  We become so sure of it that we decide to avoid bringing an issue up because of our belief on how they will react.  In our minds and hearts we have already destroyed any potential contribution another could make because we actually moved to “mister in-between.”  We decided doing nothing was better than dealing with the imperfections of another.  Avoidance is “mess(ing) with Mister In-Between” and that can be the worst decision of all.   
            As the lyrics of Johnny Mercer’s song goes on it asks each one of us to “spread joy up to the maximum and bring gloom down to the minimum.”  How different our relationships with one another would be if we were intentionally focusing on the positive by “latching on to the affirmative” everyday with every person we meet. 
            Why not take the time right now and list 10 positive descriptive phrases about the family member you are having the most “challenges” with.  How about recognizing them for those positives?  How about asking them to do the same with you?  How about openly talking about it?  When you do, remember the real message of the song, “Don’t mess with Mister In-Between!”

We can assist you and your family in “accentuating the positive.” For more information visit our web site at www.challengesinc.com and don’t forget to visit our blog at www.FamilyBusinessChatter.com

jim@challengesinc.com - ann@challengesinc.com
LaurenOwen427@gmail.com - sboros@zoominternet.net 888-273-8307
For more information on solutions to Family Business challenges – visit our web site at: www.challengesinc.com and watch for our new blog at: www.familybusinesschatter.com